How to Choose a Realtor Who Works for You — Home Buying Step 5

How to Choose a Realtor is one of the most important decisions you’ll make in the home-buying process, and it belongs later in the journey than most people think. By now, you’ve done more work than most first-time buyers ever do: you’ve checked your credit, built a real-world budget, talked to a lender, and learned what happens when underwriting says “not yet” instead of “no.”

Logically, Step 3 (choosing your lender) and Step 4 (fixing underwriting issues) might seem to lead straight into a discussion of loan types. And we will talk about FHA, USDA, VA, and Conventional programs—but not yet. Before any of that makes sense, you need the right REALTOR® in your corner.

Loan programs and property choices are tied together in ways most buyers don’t see at first. Your REALTOR® is the person who makes sure the homes you look at actually fit the loan type you qualify for. You need your professional team—lender and REALTOR®—working together with you, for you, and looking out for your best interests.

This step is about choosing that REALTOR®: your partner, advocate, and guide for the rest of the process.

Related steps in this series: Step 1 — Know Your Credit, Step 2 — Build a Budget That Tells the Truth, Step 3 — Choose a Lender, Step 4 — Fixing Underwriting Issues.

Why How to Choose a Realtor Comes Before Loan Types

Most online guides talk about loan types as if they exist in their own little box. In the real world, loan programs come with requirements about property condition, location, occupancy, and appraisal that can kill a deal late in the game.

Your lender can tell you which loan program you qualify for. Your REALTOR® helps make sure the homes you’re seeing actually work with that program. If you pick the wrong agent—or no agent—you can easily fall in love with houses your financing will never approve.

That’s why choosing the right REALTOR® comes before diving into the alphabet soup of FHA, USDA, VA, and Conventional loans.

Realtor vs. Real Estate Agent (and Why the MLS Matters)

One thing many buyers don’t realize is that not every real estate agent is a REALTOR®.

• A real estate agent (or salesperson) is someone who has a state-issued license to practice real estate.
• A REALTOR® is a licensed agent who is also a member of the National Association of REALTORS®, agrees to follow a Code of Ethics, and typically has access to the local association’s MLS.

The Multiple Listing Service (MLS) is a shared database where REALTORS® list properties for sale and where buyer’s agents search for homes that meet your criteria. It includes detailed property information, photos, history, and data on comparable sales. We’ll do a deeper dive on how to use the MLS strategically in the home search step, but for now, understand this:

Working with a REALTOR® means your agent can see more, compare more, and interpret more about the homes you’re considering than someone working without full MLS access.

Why Finding the Right Buyer’s Agent Matters

Where I live, you can’t throw a rock without hitting three real estate agents. That doesn’t mean all three are qualified to guide you through the largest purchase you’ll probably ever make.

A buyer’s agent isn’t just someone who unlocks doors and points out granite countertops. A good buyer’s REALTOR® is:

• your interpreter when the market doesn’t make sense,
• your guardrail when emotions try to outrun your budget,
• your strategist when offers and contingencies get complicated, and
• your advocate when it’s time to negotiate price and repairs.

People often hesitate to work with a newer REALTOR®, but a diligent new agent will outperform a burned-out veteran every time. As my father always asked:

“Do they have ten years of experience, or one year ten times?”

When you’re deciding how to choose a Realtor, you’re not just picking a name—you’re picking a level of energy, honesty, and follow-through.

How to Choose a Realtor You Can Actually Talk To

Your lender will know your financial details. Your REALTOR® will know everything else.

Your REALTOR® will know how you handle stress, how you make decisions, how you and your partner differ, and where your real “no-go” lines are. That means competence and trust matter more than familiarity.

Just because someone is your coworker, your mom’s friend, someone from church, or your kid’s coach does not make them the right choice. Ask yourself:

• Am I comfortable being completely honest about my finances and fears with this person?
• Will they tell me the truth, even when it’s not what I want to hear?
• Do I trust them not to overshare my business with others?

Sometimes the most respectful thing you can say is:

“Hey, you’re a great friend, but I’m really not comfortable having you know everything about my finances.”

Likewise, do you want to take the chance that your mom’s friend won’t tell your mom all your business—or steer you toward a home that fits your mom more than it fits you?

When you think about how to choose a REALTOR®, remember: you’re not choosing based on who you see every Sunday. You’re choosing based on who can be trusted with your money, your information, and your future.

Questions to Ask When You’re Deciding How to Choose a Realtor

How do they communicate—and do they actually return calls?

Real estate moves fast, and communication matters more than most buyers realize. I was trained to text, email, and follow up with a call. People may not love talking on the phone these days, but here’s the truth:

Sometimes I can tell you something faster—and more clearly—than I can type it.

You need an agent who understands that different situations call for different forms of communication:

• Texts for quick confirmations
• Email for documentation
• Phone calls for anything urgent, complex, or sensitive

And yes, you should absolutely expect your agent to return calls.

If you call three agents and only one answers (or calls back)—that tells you a lot.

You want someone who stays reachable, even if they’re out showing homes or in a meeting. No one can answer every call in real time, but a good REALTOR® doesn’t disappear.

Responsiveness before you’re under contract is a preview of what you’ll get when deadlines start hitting. If they’re flaky now, they’ll be worse later.

Credentials: What do they really mean?

NAR designations look good on a business card, and many of them provide solid continuing education. They show commitment to the profession, and that matters.

But the question you need to ask is simple:

Does the designation represent real depth of knowledge—or just a four-to-eight-hour class?

For example, I have an MBA with a concentration in marketing, which included graduate-level coursework in professional sales and negotiation. That’s a very different foundation than a one-day seminar. It doesn’t make me “better” than someone without it—but it does mean I approach pricing, negotiation, and strategy with more formal training behind me.

So when you’re deciding how to choose a Realtor, look at:

• Experience
• Judgment
• Education (both formal and industry-specific)
• How seriously they take professional development

Those things matter far more than long acronyms on a yard sign.

Ask them what they don’t do—and listen carefully.

No REALTOR® is good at everything. Anyone who claims to be is selling something.

If a client wants to pursue a type of property or a geographic area that I don’t know well, I’ll either:

• refer them to another agent in my office, or
• partner with someone who specializes in that area so I can learn while ensuring they get the right representation.

Most agents won’t do this—they’ll chase the commission even if it’s outside their lane.

A great question to ask is:

“What types of clients or properties do you NOT take on?”

If they have a thoughtful answer, you’ve found someone with self-awareness—and that usually means integrity.

How a Realtor’s Network Works for You

One more thing: A good Realtor has a network—and knows how to use it.

Sometimes the right answer isn’t “I can help you.” Sometimes it’s, “I know the person who can.”

Through Better Homes and Gardens Real Estate, I’m part of a nationwide (and international) network. If you’re moving somewhere I don’t know well enough to represent you confidently, I can refer you to someone who does.

And yes, for transparency: when a referred client buys through the receiving agent, the referring REALTOR® earns a commission. That’s standard.

But here’s the part most buyers never hear:

A good referring REALTOR® will actually interview the agent they’re sending you to. They should be vetting the agent—not just handing you a name.

I know this firsthand because I’ve been on the other side of it.

A few years ago, I got a call from a Better Homes and Gardens agent in the Dallas–Fort Worth area whose friends—an LGBTQ+ couple—were relocating to Abilene. Given that this is rural West Texas, in a town with three church-affiliated universities, they understandably didn’t want to walk into a brokerage cold.

The referring agent interviewed me, asked about my approach, communication style, and comfort level, and decided I was the right fit for their friends. And it worked—we clicked.

I can work with almost anyone (I won’t say everyone—we all meet one or two people we just don’t vibe with), but the crucial part is this:

A good referral helps clients land somewhere safe, respected, and well-represented before they ever start house-hunting.

So if you have a REALTOR® you trust and you’re moving to a place they can’t serve directly, lean on their network. Let them find someone compatible—someone whose style matches yours—so you don’t have to start from scratch.

A referral shouldn’t be a random name. It should be a handoff from one professional to another.

Staying Motivated During the Search

Ask what happens when buyers get discouraged.

This topic belongs more fully in the “Looking at Houses” step, but here’s the short version:

Buying a home is not a sprint. It’s a marathon. There will be starts, stops, and moments where you feel like you’ll never find the right place.

A good REALTOR® will:

• set a steady pace,
• help you recognize and avoid avoidable mistakes,
• remind you not to rush or force something that isn’t right, and
• keep you grounded when emotions run hot.

When we get into Step 6, you’ll hear one of my core pieces of advice:

“Don’t get in a hurry. When you put the horse before the cart is when you start making mistakes.”

Part of choosing the right agent is choosing someone who keeps you moving without pushing you into bad decisions.

Understand How Representation Works (and Why It Matters in Texas)

In Texas, every license holder must provide the IABS — Information About Brokerage Services notice. It explains:

• who the brokerage represents,
• what duties are owed to clients,
• what duties are owed to customers, and
• how representation works when one brokerage is involved on both sides of a transaction.

It isn’t a contract—it’s a disclosure so you understand your rights before you get too far into the process.
Intermediary Representation: When One Brokerage Is on Both Sides

Texas allows a brokerage to represent both the buyer and the seller in the same transaction. This is called intermediary representation.

Here’s the key point:

A brokerage may represent both parties, but one single agent is not the ideal choice to represent both at the same time.

To protect everyone’s interests, the broker can (and in most real-world situations, should) appoint different agents:

• one agent to represent the seller, and
• one agent to represent the buyer.

These are called appointed agents, and each has a legal duty to advocate fully for their respective client. That way:

• you have someone negotiating for you,
• the seller has someone negotiating for them, and
• confidential information stays with the appropriate party.

In larger brokerages, this setup is common and usually works smoothly because agents typically do not know confidential details about the other party beyond what is in the MLS.

If you’re in a state that allows one agent to work both sides under Dual Agency, or you’re in Texas under an Intermediary situation, you should always insist on different representation on both sides.

The Simple Rule

The seller’s agent should NEVER be the person you turn to as your buyer’s agent—unless you are experienced enough to advocate entirely for yourself.

If you expect someone to negotiate the price aggressively, push for repairs, protect your inspection rights, or structure the deal in a way that favors you, you need your own representation—whether that agent works inside the same brokerage or with a different one.

Brokerages can remain neutral. Appointed agents can advocate strongly. But one single agent cannot fully advocate for both sides at once. When you’re thinking about how to choose a Realtor, make sure you understand who they work for—and what that means for you.

Be Aware of Incentives and Conflicts

Most REALTORS® are paid as a percentage of the sales price. That means the higher the home price, the higher the commission. Good agents know this incentive exists and deliberately work against it on your behalf.

During the COVID run-up, many homes sold well above their actual appraised values. I had clients who wanted to offer far over the market-supported price on a home. I built a CMA (Comparative Market Analysis) and showed them exactly how far above value they were going. They understood that—and still chose to make the offer.

Because we were honest about value up front, we had negotiating room when the inspection report came back. The sellers, thrilled with the offer, agreed to fix every issue. As of last month, that home is now worth more than my clients paid.

That is the kind of outcome you get when you choose a REALTOR® who tells you the truth, not just what gets the deal closed fastest.

A Good Agent Knows When NOT to Sell

Most people assume a REALTOR® will always push them toward a transaction. Sometimes, the best advice is: “Stay put.”

I once met with homeowners who thought they needed to sell their house to cover new financial obligations after a family tragedy. On paper, selling looked like the obvious solution. When we walked through the numbers together, it became clear that selling would actually make things worse. Their mortgage payment was significantly lower than what they would pay to rent even a modest apartment.

A lot of agents would have seen a potential paycheck and encouraged the sale.

I laid out the reasons they should not sell—and they kept their home.

When you think about how to choose a Realtor, remember: you want someone who is willing to talk you out of a sale or purchase if it’s not in your long-term best interest. In industry lingo, you’re paying for their advice and opinions. You don’t have to like them. You don’t have to follow them. But you should listen to them and understand why your agent is telling you these things.

How Buyer’s Agents Are Paid Today

Traditionally, sellers often covered the compensation for both the listing broker and the buyer’s broker. After the 2024–2025 NAR settlement, that model became more flexible—not eliminated, but no longer assumed.

Here’s what you need to understand as a buyer:

• Sellers may still offer compensation to buyer’s agents. In many markets, including Abilene, that’s still common.

• However, they are not required to.

• Commission rates are 100% negotiable. There is no “standard” percentage, and the higher the property price, the more likely the commission percentage is reduced.

• All commissions are paid to brokerages, not directly to agents. Agents are paid by their brokers.

Fees, Disclosures, and “No Surprises” Compensation

Before you commit to representation, it is reasonable—and appropriate—to ask whether there are any fees beyond the agreed compensation structure.

If administrative fees, transaction fees, marketing fees, or other add-ons exist, they should be disclosed clearly and discussed before you sign a representation agreement or write an offer. Buying a home involves enough complexity without unexpected charges appearing at the finish line.

Clarity here protects everyone. When compensation is fully understood up front, the focus stays where it belongs: finding the right home, negotiating effectively, and getting to closing without friction or mistrust.

FSBOs (For Sale By Owner)

For Sale By Owner properties are often listed that way because the seller does not want to pay commission to either side. That can affect:

• whether they will compensate your buyer’s broker at all,

• how your offer must be structured to address your agent’s fee,

• whether the seller understands their disclosure and paperwork obligations, and

• how much extra work your agent ends up doing to keep the transaction on track.

A FSBO is not automatically a bad opportunity, but you should be prepared for the possibility that compensation will need to be addressed explicitly. In many cases, this can be structured as part of your offer—but your agent and lender must ensure it complies with loan guidelines and does not create downstream problems.

What a Good Realtor Will Do About Compensation

When you’re deciding how to choose a Realtor, pay attention to how transparent they are about money. A good REALTOR® will:

• explain clearly how they are compensated on each property,

• show you all suitable homes—not just the ones that pay more,

• help structure offers that legally incorporate buyer-broker compensation when needed, and

• make sure you understand the financial implications before you sign anything.

The goal is simple: your agent should be paid in a way that makes sense for you—not in a way that quietly shapes what homes you’re allowed to see or surprises you at the end.

Bringing It All Together Before Step 6

Choosing a lender and understanding underwriting put numbers and rules around what you can buy. Learning how to choose a Realtor puts a professional in your corner who can work inside those numbers and rules to help you find the right home.

Your lender and your REALTOR® should be communicating, comparing notes, and aligning around your best interests—not just trying to get a deal done. When that team is in place, loan types and home search strategies make a lot more sense.

In the next part of this series, we’ll dive into different loan programs and how they affect what you can buy. After that, we’ll finally get to the part most people think is Step 1: actually looking at houses.

If you have questions about how to choose a Realtor, or you want to talk through your own situation before you start shopping, I’m always happy to help.

About Me — Doug Berry, MBA, REALTOR®

The Bow Tie Agent

I’m a REALTOR® with Better Homes & Gardens Senter, REALTORS® who focuses on helping buyers understand the real-world side of homeownership — from lending and budgeting to navigating underwriting without surprises. With an MBA (Marketing concentration) and experience as a lender with USDA Rural Development’s mortgage programs, I approach the process the same way I do with clients: clearly, calmly, and without sales pressure.

If you have questions about this step, need help preparing for a home purchase, or have a topic you’d like me to cover in a future article, feel free to reach out:

📧 Doug@senterrealtors.com

📞 325-338-9734

🌐 www.dougberry.realtor