How to Choose a Realtor Who Works for You — Home Buying Step 5

How to Choose a Realtor is one of the most important decisions you’ll make in the home-buying process, and it belongs later in the journey than most people think. By now, you’ve done more work than most first-time buyers ever do: you’ve checked your credit, built a real-world budget, talked to a lender, and learned what happens when underwriting says “not yet” instead of “no.”

Logically, Step 3 (choosing your lender) and Step 4 (fixing underwriting issues) might seem to lead straight into a discussion of loan types. And we will talk about FHA, USDA, VA, and Conventional programs—but not yet. Before any of that makes sense, you need the right REALTOR® in your corner.

Loan programs and property choices are tied together in ways most buyers don’t see at first. Your REALTOR® is the person who makes sure the homes you look at actually fit the loan type you qualify for. You need your professional team—lender and REALTOR®—working together with you, for you, and looking out for your best interests.

This step is about choosing that REALTOR®: your partner, advocate, and guide for the rest of the process.

Related steps in this series: Step 1 — Know Your Credit, Step 2 — Build a Budget That Tells the Truth, Step 3 — Choose a Lender, Step 4 — Fixing Underwriting Issues.

Why How to Choose a Realtor Comes Before Loan Types

Most online guides talk about loan types as if they exist in their own little box. In the real world, loan programs come with requirements about property condition, location, occupancy, and appraisal that can kill a deal late in the game.

Your lender can tell you which loan program you qualify for. Your REALTOR® helps make sure the homes you’re seeing actually work with that program. If you pick the wrong agent—or no agent—you can easily fall in love with houses your financing will never approve.

That’s why choosing the right REALTOR® comes before diving into the alphabet soup of FHA, USDA, VA, and Conventional loans.

Realtor vs. Real Estate Agent (and Why the MLS Matters)

One thing many buyers don’t realize is that not every real estate agent is a REALTOR®.

• A real estate agent (or salesperson) is someone who has a state-issued license to practice real estate.
• A REALTOR® is a licensed agent who is also a member of the National Association of REALTORS®, agrees to follow a Code of Ethics, and typically has access to the local association’s MLS.

The Multiple Listing Service (MLS) is a shared database where REALTORS® list properties for sale and where buyer’s agents search for homes that meet your criteria. It includes detailed property information, photos, history, and data on comparable sales.

Working with a REALTOR® means your agent can see more, compare more, and interpret more about the homes you’re considering than someone working without full MLS access.

Advocacy Boundaries

Who Works for You—and Why That Matters

One of the most important things to understand when choosing a REALTOR® is who actually works for you.

Your buyer’s agent owes you fiduciary duties—loyalty, confidentiality, and advocacy. The seller’s agent does not. Even if they seem friendly, helpful, or knowledgeable, their legal obligation is to the seller, not to you.

In Texas, this distinction matters even more because a single brokerage can represent both buyer and seller in the same transaction. That’s called intermediary representation. When handled properly, the broker appoints different agents—one for each side—so each party still has someone advocating fully for their interests.

What should never happen is a single agent trying to negotiate aggressively for both sides at once. That’s not real advocacy.

The practical rule is simple: if you expect someone to advise you honestly, protect your information, and negotiate on your behalf, that person must be your representative—not the seller’s.

Once you understand who works for you, a lot of confusion disappears. You know who you can speak freely with, who you should be cautious around, and where strategic conversations belong. That clarity becomes critical once you start touring homes and discussing offers.

Why Finding the Right Buyer’s Agent Matters

Where I live, you can’t throw a rock without hitting three real estate agents. That doesn’t mean all three are qualified to guide you through the largest purchase you’ll probably ever make.

A buyer’s agent isn’t just someone who unlocks doors and points out granite countertops. A good buyer’s REALTOR® is:

• your interpreter when the market doesn’t make sense,
• your guardrail when emotions try to outrun your budget,
• your strategist when offers and contingencies get complicated, and
• your advocate when it’s time to negotiate price and repairs.

People often hesitate to work with a newer REALTOR®, but a diligent new agent will outperform a burned-out veteran every time. As my father always asked:

“Do they have ten years of experience, or one year ten times?”

When you’re deciding how to choose a Realtor, you’re not just picking a name—you’re picking a level of energy, honesty, and follow-through.

Buyer’s Representation Agreement

Buyer Representation Is a Contract, Not a Courtesy

At some point in this process, choosing a REALTOR® stops being informal and becomes contractual. That happens when you sign a Buyer’s Representation Agreement.

In Texas, a REALTOR® cannot simply start showing homes indefinitely without a signed agreement. This isn’t a sales tactic—it’s a legal framework that defines who represents you, what duties are owed, and how that representation works once real money and real risk are involved.

Early on, especially if you’re just getting to know an agent, it’s common to start with a very limited agreement—one day or one property. That gives both sides a chance to see whether the working relationship makes sense before committing further.

Once you move past that stage, you should expect to sign a longer-term agreement. At that point, you are no longer “shopping for agents.” You are working with one.

A Buyer’s Representation Agreement is a contract. You generally cannot have more than one buyer’s agent at the same time without being formally released from the first agreement. If your agent is unavailable for a showing, the solution is communication—not signing with someone else. In many cases, the brokerage can arrange coverage or address the issue directly.

I’m not an attorney, and this isn’t legal advice. If you have questions about what a representation agreement allows or restricts, that’s a conversation for a Texas real estate attorney. But the takeaway is simple: once you choose a REALTOR®, that relationship carries structure and obligations—and that structure exists to protect you.

How to Choose a Realtor You Can Actually Talk To

Your lender will know your financial details. Your REALTOR® will know everything else.

Your REALTOR® will know how you handle stress, how you make decisions, how you and your partner differ, and where your real “no-go” lines are. That means competence and trust matter more than familiarity.

Just because someone is your coworker, your mom’s friend, someone from church, or your kid’s coach does not make them the right choice. Ask yourself:

• Am I comfortable being completely honest about my finances and fears with this person?
• Will they tell me the truth, even when it’s not what I want to hear?
• Do I trust them not to overshare my business with others?

Sometimes the most respectful thing you can say is:

“Hey, you’re a great friend, but I’m really not comfortable having you know everything about my finances.”

Likewise, do you want to take the chance that your mom’s friend won’t tell your mom all your business—or steer you toward a home that fits your mom more than it fits you?

When you think about how to choose a REALTOR®, remember: you’re not choosing based on who you see every Sunday. You’re choosing based on who can be trusted with your money, your information, and your future.

Questions to Ask When You’re Deciding How to Choose a Realtor

How do they communicate—and do they actually return calls?

Real estate moves fast, and communication matters more than most buyers realize. I was trained to text, email, and follow up with a call. People may not love talking on the phone these days, but here’s the truth:

Sometimes I can tell you something faster—and more clearly—than I can type it.

You need an agent who understands that different situations call for different forms of communication:

• Texts for quick confirmations
• Email for documentation
• Phone calls for anything urgent, complex, or sensitive

And yes, you should absolutely expect your agent to return calls.

If you call three agents and only one answers (or calls back)—that tells you a lot.

You want someone who stays reachable, even if they’re out showing homes or in a meeting. No one can answer every call in real time, but a good REALTOR® doesn’t disappear.

Responsiveness before you’re under contract is a preview of what you’ll get when deadlines start hitting. If they’re flaky now, they’ll be worse later.

Credentials: What do they really mean?

NAR designations look good on a business card, and many of them provide solid continuing education. They show commitment to the profession, and that matters.

But the question you need to ask is simple:

Does the designation represent real depth of knowledge—or just a four-to-eight-hour class?

For example, I have an MBA with a concentration in marketing, which included graduate-level coursework in professional sales and negotiation. That’s a very different foundation than a one-day seminar. It doesn’t make me “better” than someone without it—but it does mean I approach pricing, negotiation, and strategy with more formal training behind me.

So when you’re deciding how to choose a Realtor, look at:

• Experience
• Judgment
• Education (both formal and industry-specific)
• How seriously they take professional development

Those things matter far more than long acronyms on a yard sign.

Ask them what they don’t do—and listen carefully.

No REALTOR® is good at everything. Anyone who claims to be is selling something.

If a client wants to pursue a type of property or a geographic area that I don’t know well, I’ll either:

• refer them to another agent in my office, or
• partner with someone who specializes in that area so I can learn while ensuring they get the right representation.

Most agents won’t do this—they’ll chase the commission even if it’s outside their lane.

A great question to ask is:

“What types of clients or properties do you NOT take on?”

If they have a thoughtful answer, you’ve found someone with self-awareness—and that usually means integrity.

One more thing: A good Realtor has a network—and knows how to use it.

Sometimes the right answer isn’t “I can help you.” Sometimes it’s, “I know the person who can.”

Through Better Homes and Gardens Real Estate, I’m part of a nationwide (and international) network. If you’re moving somewhere I don’t know well enough to represent you confidently, I can refer you to someone who does.

And yes, for transparency: when a referred client buys through the receiving agent, the referring REALTOR® earns a commission. That’s standard.

But here’s the part most buyers never hear:

A good referring REALTOR® will actually interview the agent they’re sending you to. They should be vetting the agent—not just handing you a name.

I know this firsthand because I’ve been on the other side of it.

A few years ago, I got a call from a Better Homes and Gardens agent in the Dallas–Fort Worth area whose friends—an LGBTQ+ couple—were relocating to Abilene. Given that this is rural West Texas, in a town with three church-affiliated universities, they understandably didn’t want to walk into a brokerage cold.

The referring agent interviewed me, asked about my approach, communication style, and comfort level, and decided I was the right fit for their friends. And it worked—we clicked.

I can work with almost anyone (I won’t say everyone—we all meet one or two people we just don’t vibe with), but the crucial part is this:

A good referral helps clients land somewhere safe, respected, and well-represented before they ever start house-hunting.

So if you have a REALTOR® you trust and you’re moving to a place they can’t serve directly, lean on their network. Let them find someone compatible—someone whose style matches yours—so you don’t have to start from scratch.

A referral shouldn’t be a random name. It should be a handoff from one professional to another.

Be Aware of Incentives and Conflicts

Most REALTORS® are paid as a percentage of the sales price. That means the higher the home price, the higher the commission. Good agents know this incentive exists and deliberately work against it on your behalf.

During the COVID run-up, many homes sold well above their actual appraised values. I had clients who wanted to offer far over the market-supported price on a home. I built a CMA (Comparative Market Analysis) and showed them exactly how far above value they were going. They understood that—and still chose to make the offer.

Because we were honest about value up front, we had negotiating room when the inspection report came back. The sellers, thrilled with the offer, agreed to fix every issue. As of last month, that home is now worth more than my clients paid.

That is the kind of outcome you get when you choose a REALTOR® who tells you the truth, not just what gets the deal closed fastest.

A Good Agent Knows When NOT to Sell

Most people assume a REALTOR® will always push them toward a transaction. Sometimes, the best advice is: “Stay put.”

I once met with homeowners who thought they needed to sell their house to cover new financial obligations after a family tragedy. On paper, selling looked like the obvious solution. When we walked through the numbers together, it became clear that selling would actually make things worse. Their mortgage payment was significantly lower than what they would pay to rent even a modest apartment.

A lot of agents would have seen a potential paycheck and encouraged the sale.

I laid out the reasons they should not sell—and they kept their home.

When you think about how to choose a Realtor, remember: you want someone who is willing to talk you out of a sale or purchase if it’s not in your long-term best interest. In industry lingo, you’re paying for their advice and opinions. You don’t have to like them. You don’t have to follow them. But you should listen to them and understand why your agent is telling you these things.

How Buyer’s Agents Are Paid Today

Traditionally, sellers often covered the compensation for both the listing broker and the buyer’s broker. After the 2024–2025 NAR settlement, that model became more flexible—not eliminated, but no longer assumed.

Here’s what you need to understand as a buyer:

• Sellers may still offer compensation to buyer’s agents. In many markets, including Abilene, that’s still common.

• However, they are not required to.

• Commission rates are 100% negotiable. There is no “standard” percentage, and the higher the property price, the more likely the commission percentage is reduced.

• All commissions are paid to brokerages, not directly to agents. Agents are paid by their brokers.

Fees, Disclosures, and “No Surprises” Compensation

Before you commit to representation, it is reasonable—and appropriate—to ask whether there are any fees beyond the agreed compensation structure.

If administrative fees, transaction fees, marketing fees, or other add-ons exist, they should be disclosed clearly and discussed before you sign a representation agreement or write an offer. Buying a home involves enough complexity without unexpected charges appearing at the finish line.

Clarity here protects everyone. When compensation is fully understood up front, the focus stays where it belongs: finding the right home, negotiating effectively, and getting to closing without friction or mistrust.

FSBOs (For Sale By Owner)

For Sale By Owner properties are often listed that way because the seller does not want to pay commission to either side. That can affect:

• whether they will compensate your buyer’s broker at all,

• how your offer must be structured to address your agent’s fee,

• whether the seller understands their disclosure and paperwork obligations, and

• how much extra work your agent ends up doing to keep the transaction on track.

A FSBO is not automatically a bad opportunity, but you should be prepared for the possibility that compensation will need to be addressed explicitly. In many cases, this can be structured as part of your offer—but your agent and lender must ensure it complies with loan guidelines and does not create downstream problems.

What a Good Realtor Will Do About Compensation

When you’re deciding how to choose a Realtor, pay attention to how transparent they are about money. A good REALTOR® will:

• explain clearly how they are compensated on each property,

• show you all suitable homes—not just the ones that pay more,

• help structure offers that legally incorporate buyer-broker compensation when needed, and

• make sure you understand the financial implications before you sign anything.

The goal is simple: your agent should be paid in a way that makes sense for you—not in a way that quietly shapes what homes you’re allowed to see or surprises you at the end.

Bringing It All Together Before Step 6

When the Right REALTOR® Is in Place, the Structure Is Set

By the time you finish this step, something important has changed.

You’re no longer trying to figure out the process on your own. You have a lender who understands your numbers, and a REALTOR® whose job is to interpret the market, the properties, and the rules in real time—on your behalf.

Once that professional structure is in place, decisions don’t get easier because they’re smaller. They get easier because they’re framed. Your options are clearer. Your risks are explained. And when something doesn’t make sense, you’re not guessing—you’re asking the right person.

That structure is what makes the next steps work.

In the next part of this series, we’ll talk about mortgage types and program rules—and how those rules shape which homes actually make sense to pursue. After that, we’ll move into the mechanics of starting your home search with clarity instead of noise.

If you have questions about how to choose a Realtor, or you want to talk through your own situation before you start shopping, I’m always happy to help.

About Me — Doug Berry, MBA, REALTOR®

The Bow Tie Agent

I’m a REALTOR® with Better Homes & Gardens Senter, REALTORS® who focuses on helping buyers understand the real-world side of homeownership — from lending and budgeting to navigating underwriting without surprises. With an MBA (Marketing concentration) and experience as a lender with USDA Rural Development’s mortgage programs, I approach the process the same way I do with clients: clearly, calmly, and without sales pressure.

If you have questions about this step, need help preparing for a home purchase, or have a topic you’d like me to cover in a future article, feel free to reach out:

📧 Doug@senterrealtors.com

📞 325-338-9734

🌐 www.dougberry.realtor